Random Thoughts
I have tried to write how am feel since i lost my heart, my drive, my spirit. Now a days i do thing to try and get moving so i do not break down and cry and thing how much i hate myself right now. since my girl left me i have wrote random thoughts down o pieces of paper ill try to get them in some what of a order or try to make them make sense but there is no guaranty that will be the case.
You where my strength, an i took our love for granted, and i never took advantage of you spirit of exploration.
I now struggle for the words to say when we talk, i try so hard not to bring up my feelings to you any more since it only seems to piss you of and drive you future away from me.... Right now you truly are my Best friend and i know in time that will change since we do not share a life together anymore. I can only hope that you find the happiness that you are looking for and i support you and wish you luck...
I can not sleep throw must nights as i wake up sad from the dreams that i have of together. i dream that you surprise me at my door step. i dream of us at on dates, i dream of the past when we did things and went places, the happy times in the last three years...... the sadists dream to date was the other night when i dreamed that i was watching you play soccer and you had a new man in your life.......
its almost to the point that i might have to have you leave my life for ever since i feel that even seeing you will cause me more pain then i could handle, since i know when we do see each other am going to want to hold you in my arms, and kiss you and your not going to let me...
i know you have told me to let go of you and that it is over an its past the time for reconciliation. I only know what is in my heart i feel that you gave up on us long ago and never Really given me that chance to give you the date you wanted. on June 23.....
its been a month since i have seen you and i know your starting to move on with you life and i feel that you telling me the things you are doing just make me want to be beside you and love you even more since that what we use to do all the time, which causing more pain to my already hurting heart of mine.
You where my strength, an i took our love for granted, and i never took advantage of you spirit of exploration.
I now struggle for the words to say when we talk, i try so hard not to bring up my feelings to you any more since it only seems to piss you of and drive you future away from me.... Right now you truly are my Best friend and i know in time that will change since we do not share a life together anymore. I can only hope that you find the happiness that you are looking for and i support you and wish you luck...
I can not sleep throw must nights as i wake up sad from the dreams that i have of together. i dream that you surprise me at my door step. i dream of us at on dates, i dream of the past when we did things and went places, the happy times in the last three years...... the sadists dream to date was the other night when i dreamed that i was watching you play soccer and you had a new man in your life.......
its almost to the point that i might have to have you leave my life for ever since i feel that even seeing you will cause me more pain then i could handle, since i know when we do see each other am going to want to hold you in my arms, and kiss you and your not going to let me...
i know you have told me to let go of you and that it is over an its past the time for reconciliation. I only know what is in my heart i feel that you gave up on us long ago and never Really given me that chance to give you the date you wanted. on June 23.....
its been a month since i have seen you and i know your starting to move on with you life and i feel that you telling me the things you are doing just make me want to be beside you and love you even more since that what we use to do all the time, which causing more pain to my already hurting heart of mine.
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