sleeping

Well once agian i set up late night, its been a few weeks since i have had a problem sleeping but tonight was a good night of thinking.. i am gladi had a chance to talk to some people and also write some letters to myself about things . i hind them...

i love the unexpeted things that happen in life they make more sense to me then the normal thinks i some how i always seem to ponder why to much.... at least i have freinds that will never let me down..... i for some reason i seek to know that i can always rely on people that a care about even whn i am in a mood......

i wish i could talk to every person like i talk to a few then life would be so easy for me........

seeking happenness

it seems the more i start to talk and work thought what has boughted me for some time now i seem to getting close to happiness. only time will tell what is going to happen, but at least i have started to work thought things. i am never giving up, just might wait to se what i can work out since i have started ask questions. but tell then i rufuse to shave what a odd little man .......

ponding thoughts

as i wake every morning, i think the day is wonderful and full of new life. Then i fall in to the trap that i have fallin into every other day for the past month. if i had answers to my problems it would be so easy i know what i should be doing but to loss a friendship that i chairish so much would completly drive me over the edge....

so why do i seem to faer the fact of ask you out or seeing how you feel. i guess that i ll keep killing myself in side untill i have either lost you for good... it seems to be a repeating pattern with me in my life and what i do with the people i try to live for and like so much.....

form the song it dont matter by rehab....
And it don't matter and I don't care
I let my pain into the air
Cuz everything good's over there
And everything here's hard to bear

song i see stars robin fox
i need, i need your love, like the flowers need the sun
to grow and reach the sky. let us try to be as one
i need to feel your love, i need you deep inside
put me on your rocket ship, and take me out of sight

once again i see my self listen to music to help me thought the hard times i bring apond my self but at least i know if she thinks about it she one day will see how i feel with every me haveing to tell her ........

away

well i leave this morning to go away to the great up north. i hope to find some peace in my head so i can stop think about what i should do, well i am going to at lest have some fun seeing family i know and family i have no clue who they are, wow i love family reuions....... well at least we can have fun at my cuasins wedding... and i hope they have pie because i hate cake........ well wish me luck and ill see you people in a few days

feeling good

well after a weekend of football and bring with friends and haveing fun, i had the chance to make a cd and it was relaxing to do after i actully was able to think of songs. well i am a music buff so it just takes time. well the cds are done and complaited. an my brian is fried form make them... wow that was more work then i wanted but i still have song to put on cd's if i need to make more since i cut my self form getting anymore song since i was up to 60 with even think about it..... well i am out to enjoy to muic i have made

from friends

So walk a little slower
And open up your eyes
Sometimes it's so hard to see
The good things passing by

Don't ever leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one you like will leave you for the one they love


thanks for the thoughs to ponder

randomness

its one of the greatest things that i have right now thats keeps my miind going at night since i seem to have a problem sleeping, i lay in my bed asn stir at the ceiling for hours and hours.
so i get up adn walk around out side and think as i look at the stars some nights i jsut go for drives soi can listen to music really load on the radio. its a wonder i have to much time oin my hands when i only get a few hours a sleep out of 24. if i am up for 22 hours that that must mean i get a lot of work done in that time or i think alot


hmmmm i like random ness its some much fun; wait to come come out and play

see the golden goose

wow i need to find a way to bring my self the money that i do not have since i have now broken my car for good i have put my car to rest and i lost the way to earn money... but at least i have freinds and family that care anought to help me out and keep reminding me way i love this paly ground of life where i spend day in and day out every day... seeing that all that matters is happyness.

i now will always look at the bright side of things and not wounder way i have so much bad luck in my life... because i seem to have found my way and its thought the path of liveing every day to its fullest with great friends and family that i can not go wrong and i will never be sad for to long

to every one who is close to me thank you for the time in you life when you have to put up with me with out you i would truely be lost