the follow up to in class writing

As i think about what she asked me, would i tell some i liked them if i had the chance" i said i would i guess i was wrong" i never told her how i felt do to the fact we both had agreed to not be in a place to date some one and then she went off and started dating some one wow paint me read..it was never the same after that i lost a freind..

i know see that i still have things to work on and to get over but the only thing to do to fix it is to be bolder and go after what you want so i am going to working on being more open with my seld and my friend. as the match begans to strike the back of the book the smoke will be the final sitting for the transfermation in to a new person

i guess i should have one the two beats ..... the thrid time well be the charme

SML

i must be running out of luck, or your just not drunk anought to fuck and i just do not want you anymore..

well as i get ready for the great burning as i take a friends advice, i look at the one thing i have to remind me of so much joy and then i think of all the paini felt in the last month. i still do not know what i did to drive you away... but hell i no longer care to know i just need the one thing that is mine back., but if do not get it then i have no use for it so oh well as a say me good byes to that item.... i well see if a can take some great pictures of the burning once i find a place to set the black and white object to a flame .........

open hole

as i look over the past few hours and ever thing that has happened i see a few things i can see deep in to my heart as it feels pain, as it longs for something it has not felt in many years. i see the people that help me realize that there is hope in the world for me, and that some day i well find happiness, true love and a end to all the pain that i long for, can not have the things that drive me crazy...

as i look deep in side myself i know that deep down i am a simply man that just wants to be able to cuddle up with his soul mate and treat her with the love that she deserves and then to spoil her like i know that i can. when that day comes ill be a better man inside .... untill then i guess ill keep being the cold hearted person so many people think i am.

i guess i jsut look for the peron who will find me for who i am and well get to knwo the side of me that not many people know , untill then i leave you with one thought " why do some many people suffure when they are in love and out f love when thier are so many well to treat there loved ones the way they need to be treated"

board in class so i write

i sit in class and i wonder what is to happen in this clas sthat i seem t o take jsut to take i hate it its the worse class this semster... so i write this falloowing item ...........



a man asks himself many things n life , but he truely can not find the answers to the questions with with out knowing what he did wrong in the first place. he can only think and assume he did not make a move fast anought or a drove the people out of his life with makeing a move..

the thing that hurts me the most in the last few years is that i do not have any worries for the things a have been thought , i have the memories and those shhould be anought to last me a life time ... but some of those memories bring up regrat and dought in the actions that i made in the past.....

i think back over the years , all the times i have been happy. i always seem to end or kil the happy tims on my own from the times with JLW , to LSP, and butterfly.

I guess some things are ment to be just that memories without answers and as i well always remeber those memories they make me a better person

the best thing about the past is we learn from it and thats what seems to be the most important thing in todays world.. learning isthe only way we can grow and one of these day i will find the way to not make any mistakes and i well find that one person i see my self with for the rest of my life

the letters

not many people can say they have been in a place where they hind some many things. but iam one that can admitt to hinding lots of stuff in the last year... most rececntly i have had the chnace to but things under my bed. i looked there tonight a found nothing but letters.

letters that brought nothing but sadness to my heart when i read them not due to the fact of they where said letters they just dealt with a time in my life that i try to forget and i guess i f i would have giveen teh letter to this person i would have found myself in a different place to night... but helli am done with it so hell it was a good time...
now i all i can think of is if it was suck a bad time why did it cause me to write so many great things in my life.....


i guess you could say she was a muse, a person who gives you the insperation to write and make a good impact on your life and others... so at least some good came from this